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February 1, 2011
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I. So it comes to this: pangea tearing itself raw
from our throats to pour into squares of newly open sky
where the stars grew aches and darkened lakewater
once bloomed into bruised winters. Somewhere
beyond the thick of snow, prayers are strung
on moon-rattled winds
and birds' teeth tear apart the poetry
of our hands. They will raise something beautiful
from these ruined words.

Continents shift slowly. They are
dirt-bound titans, these beasts;
rootless giants that mold themselves
to fit the vision we hold inside our heads. Oceans sigh
and their tides crawl ever upward.

II. Our shadows become umbilical
in certain light. Unknown children cast
dark shapes of water
to nourish the gardens springing forth
from the dirt's wrist like a eulogy for lost sky.
Morning doves sing because they see what we cannot:
the years between us laid out like miles and our feet
that never mark the reddened earth and
the passion-trees birthing flowers of such cold, untamed souls.

We are walking in the wombs of stars. Here our soft-spoken dreams
turn stillborn, unmoving as the winter sun's spokes, unholy
as moonless night. You will find their ashes
in the form of lovers, back touching naked back.

III. A rainstorm grows in violent blossom. Its water does not fall
but tumbles, an endless stream of fists
tearing away clusters of scabbing clouds and battering
tender-eyed dawn. The horizon is a fresh wound
which cleaves the world in two, fraying at the edges
and unhinged like bald-faced craniums. Swollen moons

slip through the cracks to bathe forests
with handfuls of pale and sickly light. We become divine
in this darkness, even without wing or garb
or golden flame to illuminate the road. I do not turn
to sky to pray
when our feet become black with walking-- your words
are the only god I need.
A very last-minute prompt fill for #transliterations. OTL This procrastination thing, it is taking over my life.

The prompt was this lovely triptych:

We were supposed to "translate" the effect of the painting into writing, so I kind of failed at that. Like. How did I even go off on this tangent? But hey, I'm kind of proud of this piece. All's well that ends well, I suppose. :3

Comment, please?

Questions:

:bulletblue: Do the sections feel connected, or are they too disjointed?
:bulletblue: How effective are the descriptions?
:bulletblue: After you saw the triptych, did you see the poem differently? Or if you saw the triptych first, do you now see the painting differently?

EDIT: GUYS GUYS A DD, WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE. :excited: :faint: How did this happen. Holy crap, I love you all. :heart: Beccalicious and Halatia, you are freaking awesome. Thank you so, so much to everyone who faved this. I'm sorry I can't respond to all of you personally. <3
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Daily Deviation

Given 2011-02-23
Suggester's Words: At just 15 years old, CyneNoirshows us pure potential that shouldn't be ignored. When God Sleeps. is just one highlight from her gallery. ( Suggested by Beccalicious and Featured by Halatia )
:iconsciencevsart:
sciencevsart Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh my...
Words.... fail me.

You are a mastersmith. If words were weapons, you would be Hephaestus.

:iconloveloveplz:
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:iconsuccesswithhonor:
successwithhonor Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011  Student Writer
you're 15?! that makes this piece all the more impressive. beautiful imagery, absolutely amazing work.
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:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2011
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article that can be found here [link]
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.

Keep writing and keep creating.
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:iconcloud-of-stars:
Cloud-of-stars Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2011
really, really, really beautiful writing :heart:
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:iconpaper-saints:
paper-saints Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2011
Haha, I'm not so great at constructive comments, but here goes:

I think it can be very difficult to translate a picture into words sometimes. Or I find it very tricky, anyway! The sections are disjointed, but in all fairness - I kind of feel that's how they're best suited. Your descriptions are pretty abstract, but I was interesed all the way through even though I'm not so good at following poetic language.

This is really.. hah, I don't know quite how to say it - but I like it. It feels pretty special. Yep, that's all I can think to say. Just try your best to keep writing, you've a real talent!
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:iconcynenoir:
CyneNoir Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much for the lovely comment! :blush: I'm glad you like it.
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:iconnemonus:
Nemonus Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2011
This is wonderful: a real meeting of science a poetry.

"Our shadows become umbilical" and "So it comes to this: pangea" are lines I wish I'd written.
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:iconcynenoir:
CyneNoir Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! I quite liked those lines myself.
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:iconlosingmyfaith:
losingmyfaith Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2011  Student Writer
This is beyond beautiful. I love it!
Reply
:iconcynenoir:
CyneNoir Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the lovely comment!
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